Social Etiquette for the Cordially Clueless

There can be a fine line between keeping a strict budget and being the Debbie Downer no one wants to get a drink with. You can live on a budget in the Big Apple and keep the peace with your friends, but there are still rules of social etiquette by which to live.  Follow our comprehensive list of simple money tips and never worry about being the thorn in the side of the social world again.

Weddings – Summer is wedding season, so it’s a good time to mention how much you should be dishing out for your friend’s big day. First of all, know that the cost to plan a wedding is absurd so don’t expect a plus one invite. I’ve had a lot of friends make the mistake of assuming they can bring a date even though the invite is only addressed to them. If you do get an invitation that allows you to bring a date, know that you are responsible for seeing that your date also gives an appropriate gift.

If you are invited to the wedding shower, look at the bride and groom’s registry for a gift. The gift registry is mainly just for the wedding shower because the day of the wedding is usually cash only. If you are invited to both, then you give at both. On the day of the wedding, you have to give back at least the amount that it is costing the bride or groom to have you there. For instance, most weddings cost  $100 a head, so that means $200 per couple is appropriate.

Office parties – Depending on your work environment, a collection envelope could be passing your desk for every birthday or celebration. It’s polite to give what you can, but don’t feel that you have to give as much as your boss does. As an alternative, offer to be the one to take the final amount and buy a cake and card. There are a lot of co-workers who would rather throw in a few extra bucks than have to plan the party.

Fundraisers – Personally, I am constantly fundraising for some kind of cause so I understand the frustration of asking others for donations and getting no response. While fundraisers may be annoying, know that the fundraiser is happy with any kind of donation whether it be $1 or $100. Letting go of $5 and skipping that afternoon coffee break will show your friend or co-worker that you respect what they’re doing.

Condo Board – Luckily, I never had to deal with my crazy Condo Board but I know that being apart of any kind of neighborhood association can affect your wallet. Now is a perfectly okay time to sit on your hands and not offer any extra money or services. It may be frustrating since you want to get things done but it’s situations like this where it’s okay to keep your pocket change in check.

Gifts – Whether it be family or friends, gifts from the heart always go a long way. A framed photo of you will be forever treasured by mom and treating dad for lunch is better than forking over too much for a new tie. For friends, showing up with a cupcake in hand and a movie is more thoughtful than a gift certificate to Macy’s. You can save plenty of money but you’ll still make your loved ones happy when putting some extra thought into your gifts. For holidays like Christmas, set a budget and stick to it by offering to chip in on group presents with your siblings or setting up a Secret Santa with your friends.

Dining out – A big pet peeve of mine is when friends grab the check and put down the exact amount that their meal cost, without putting in tax or tip. There have been many times when I’ve had to thrown in an extra dollar or two to make up for my friends’ bad habits, and it has caused me to think twice before inviting them out to drinks. Even though I’m on a budget, I’d much rather go out with a friend who doesn’t agonize over every penny when I’m trying to unwind. The polite gesture is to split the bill evenly, even if you didn’t drink as much as your friend. If there’s a huge difference in cost, be sure you give enough to cover your end for tax and tip. If you’re really tight for cash, ash for separate checks as soon as you sit down to avoid any awkwardness at the end of dinner.

When it comes to money etiquette use your gut instinct on when to let a few dollars slide in order to avoid being rude. If money is tight for me, I’ll offer cheap nights out to my friends so that I can avoid spending too much cash and have some extra at the end of the week.